I was perfectly (or not) okay that day. I was going on about just as normal as any day could have been. I woke up like normal teenagers do. Got up and then got myself ready to go out.
I hate being inside the house. There was nothing for me there. For most days, I was alone and I was dying to get some action in my life. I was like a living dead person.
And so then, I went to the mall to kill time. I like being in the mall. There’s a lot of stuff to check out but its amusement factor does not really last long. After a week, I’ve probably been everywhere inside this mall. Although, there’s a place in the mall I never get tired of going to.
It’s got a park just behind it. A lot of people stay there. Sitting on benches, laughing with friends, or just reading books.
It’s seeing groups of friends there. I wonder how it would be like to have friends. I mean, I have friends but they’re just not the kind I’d spend so much time outside of school and there isn’t really a lot of kids my age around the block. They’re either too old or to young to hang out with. Imagine a 16-year-old guy watching Phineas and Ferb with 9-year-old kids or smoking weed and drinking beer with 20-year-old people. I just couldn’t find that set of humans I’ll hang out with around our neighborhood.
So, there I just sit on a bench on that park almost everyday. Reading a book or doing absolutely nothing. Although today, was surprisingly different.
I observe every group there is. There are some kids playing around but this park is usually where teenagers like me flock together like birds. Although I’m the only one who goes solo or unfortunately forced by no one to go solo but goes solo still.
Then something caught my eye. There’s a girl I’ve never seen here before. I kinda know the faces of everybody I’ve ever seen in this park. She wasn’t in my brain’s database. Although I didn’t realize that I’ve been staring at her for a long time already. A good 15 seconds probably.
Oh, God! She’s looking back at me. It’s very embarrassing. She might have thought I’m a creep or something. Then I realized that she’s cute. I tried to glance at her every now and then. I wanted to sit beside her and introduce myself but yeah, I’m not good with socialization.
All I wanted to do that moment was approach her and tell her how pretty she is. How I wanted to get to know her. How stellar she looked when the sun illuminates her being. Like she was being drowned by sunlight yet beauty shine through. This was just supposed to be a normal day for me. I was supposed to be bored, not be startled or whatever. I wanted to tell her that she kinda lit up a boring world. As if she brought life to this lifeless life. (If that even made sense) I wanted to tell her much but I never did say.
My tongue always gets in the way. As usual.
So I got up from the bench and I started to walk home. I simply suck at this.